October 6th, 2016:
I am two days from 20 and for the most part of this week have been miserable. I did not work as hard in my academics as I needed too. I let personal misunderstanding get in the way of relationships and did not rely on the patience I know I have. I picked at my acne ruining the streak that I had set to eradicate my face of infection. I ruined by soul through sinning not to a god but to my future. This left me defeated, careless, weak, and mentally unsound. It is the build up of these along with the feeling that I am not wanted by the opposite sex that has left me so defeated. Intense dislike for myself ensued from these weeks events. Why I believe this culminated was a lack of foresight on my short term and long term goals.
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July 2017
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