Today I attempted to minimize my material possessions further by throwing out a lot of crap I had as toys when I was younger along with binders from high school. As I cleaned I became further and further agitated by the fact that I had something suppressed. My utter distain and dis-enjoyment of growing up after moving to the United States. I look back on high school as the first time I may have began to enjoy my life and who I was becoming.
I threw away good toys simply because I hated them that much due to the time I associate them with. It is something I did not know was still so meaningful to me. I look at that time of being unstable as a family and not being respected by neighbors. Maybe I didn't realize just how alone we were. I did not know I felt so disconnected to any home. Home to me is not a physical place so it seems. To me its a state of happyiness and good vibes. I also found myself to be lacking in social skills this weekend. This might just be me being in my head but I felt like I would talk just to talk. I realize how much I hate false interactions and how much I just want to be around the people I want to be around experiencing the things I want to experience. My self assessment proves further and I dream of running a company and caring about those people but having very few close friends because they understand me and know what I tolerate and what my values are.
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AuthorStudent to my future Archives
July 2017
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